2 Steps to Shift from Money Fear & Stress to Gratitude

How do you shift from stressing about money to gratitude, JOY and freedom? That may sound impossible, but it's not. It just takes time, energy and of course: FOCUS.

If you're feeling unhappy about your money situation and there may be very good reason - a job loss, divorce, downsizing, overwhelming debt, finally let your house go into foreclosure, it may sound impossible to feel you'll ever be ok again.

But, you can be and the answer is part perspiration and part inspiration.

Step 1:  Let's tackle the fear first:  

1) Write down all the money fears you have on a piece of paper that you'll throw away. Go on - do it and do it now.

2) Feel the fear - I know this ain't fun, but "feel it to heal it" is a truism and it only lasts a minute. Notice where you most feel the energy of the fear in your body. Rate the fear on a scale of 0-10 with 10 the worst. Breathe into your body for a few minutes feeling it with the in breath and releasing the fear with the exhale. Rerate the charge of the anxiety on a scale of 0-10 again.  Better? Little shift? Repeat until the number down enough to feel relief.

3) Now, if you're ready, ask - what's the blessing of this situation or money fear that I'm having? As soon as we gain perspective because we're not so caught up in the emotion, we can THINK better and be aware of any blessings. When we're deeply IN the emotion we can't think.

4) If you can't go there yet, it's ok.  Think about and FIND at least 3 things in your life you can be grateful for right now - List them, feel the gratitude and imagine you have a REMOTE control in your hand that you can dial the number up to increase the FEELING of gratitude in your body and mind.  Raise the number as much as you'd like. Repeat this process until you feel complete - may take a few days to weeks. We're all different in terms of how willing we are to let go of the past. When you're ready go back to Step 3 and find the blessing of the money challenge.

Step 2:  You know how you read in Oprah Magazine and many other places, about how important it is to be GRATEFUL? Do you know why? Fear and stress lower our energy, depress us and disempower our ability to focus on what we want to create in our lives. Gratitude, love, happiness increase our energy state and therefore increase our ability to see possibilities, focus on what we'd like to have more of in our lives and very important - REFOCUS when we lose our momentum and or stuff happens - and we all know stuff happens to all of us.  

A very simple formula is to write down 3 different things you're grateful for every day. I like to do so at the end of the day. Writing it down cements it into your subconscious and then you take those positive feelings into sleep where your subconscious works with it to help you create more of what you want.

If you get stuck on the fear and this is like any CHANGE process - it takes time to RETRAIN the brain (our most powerful instrument) say the words out loud:  CANCEL  CANCEL and then think about the opposite of the problem you were thinking about.  For example:  I don't know how I'll make payroll.  CANCEL CANCEL and think or say:  I know I'll find a way to make the rent.  Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Your subconscious will start looking for solutions.  

Resources about this subject:  FREE Monthly Webinar: December's 3 Keys to Turn Holiday Stress into Peace/3-keys-to-holiday-peace  Lynn's Money Coaching Programs, Wayne Dyer:  Wishes Fulfilled, (CD with James Twyman excellent meditation), Esther Hicks material, Jack Canfield or Mark Victor Hanson.  

More Money Will Make You Happier?

More Money Will Make You How Much Happier?  There is so much pressure in our society to always go after MORE, more, more money. Addictive, anyone?  

But, research shows that after someone’s earning $75,000 a year, more money, even a lot more, doesn’t make them any happier. Well, a little bit happier – about 9% happier.

So, if it’s not true that MORE money will make you happier, what is the truth? According to Happy Money authors Elizabeth Dunn & Michael Norton, (two Harvard professors), there are 3 keys to being happier with your money: 

1) Buy experiences vs. stuff. When students were asked to think about 4 material purchases and 4 experiential purchases and to draw circles and place those circles around a larger circle called SELF - depending on how closely linked each purchase was to their sense of self, the experiential purchases won hands down as being more important.

2)  Make it a treat & SAVE money. If you go to Starbucks every day and spend $5.00 it’s expensive and it’s less of a treat than 1x a week. Try this:  Try limiting your visits to 3x a week or 1x a week for that special latte. and drink regular coffee the other days.  I tell my 5 year old granddaughter Shelby that she can have 2 Hershey kisses after her nap – she looks forward to those and enjoys them thoroughly and rarely asks for more.  Treats have Value. Bonus: How much $$ can you SAVE a week with just that simple adjustment?

3) Buy Time:  One stressed, over-working mother of two children, hamsters and hubby bought a Roomba to help with housework. The $300.00 purchase saved this household time in cleaning and stress. 

Time Affluence: Everyone feels overly busy and you may be shocked, as I was, to hear this bit of research, but the time crunch is due in good part to financial prosperity. In general America is wealthier now than 50 years ago. “Wealthier individuals spend more of their time on higher stress activities shopping, working and commuting." 

”TIME SCARCITY”: increases the value of what’s perceived as scarce: As incomes rise, time seems more valuable!!

The authors recommend not using money to get more time, but to value happier time as an end in itself. Switch the focus from making more money to having more time. Ah...feel better?

How I Saved $14,000 in One Day On Vacation

How did this Money Coach save $14,000 in one day while on vacation? Sound like a miracle? Well, it sorta was. My husband, Dave and I were on vacation in sunny Escondido at the Lawrence Welk Resort - yes, you heard that right. Lawrence Welk of 60s TV & bubble fame has built a money making resort about 40 minutes north of San Diego. Why did we drive 7 hours to stay there? Because it's child friendly and our grandchildren are joining us so that we can make good on our Christmas present to them - a trip to the San Diego Zoo.

But, let me get back to the big money we saved today. For two full day Zoo passes worth $88.00 we, in a moment of weakness, insanity, fill in the blank, decided it was worth it to attend a - you guessed it -a 90 minute TimeSHARE Presentation. Three hours later, though a bit financially stressed, we walked out as rich as when we met our lovely saleswoman Lynne, a therapist soul-sister, who did everything in her sweet power to convince us that it was "nothing" to add to our 2 timeshares, or trade them in on the NEW even better development of the Lawrence Welk resort - all for only $14,000.

By the time we'd been there nearly 3 hours, we almost caved - we were wearing out and wearing down and the last deal, the smallest deal, the best trading deal was starting to sound good.  (Our math also showed us that the 3 hours we'd sat patiently while Lynne very sweetly described all the glories of ownership was worth between $600.00 - 800.00 of our time by our hourly rates - somehow this helped direct us back to sanity.) As we began to weaken we thought if we just signed the deal we'd get out of there. Dave and I had a private conference and did the figures again and in our regained frugal sanity realized we can do a lot with the $14,000 it would have cost for a week a year timeshare - we can remodel our bathroom, we can upgrade to a larger unit when we go to Mexico and we go every year (of course we already have a TimeShare - doesn't everyone?) 

As Dave and I escaped from the Time Share building, we laughed in relief - we'd just saved $14,000 and we got those $88.00 Zoo Tickets. Here are quick rules on how to keep your money in your pocket if you attend one of these presentations:  Smile, nod, be polite, firmly grip your partners hand and give each other the NO, don't you dare say yes grip as needed, keep smiling and as they present their last option, say please give us a couple minutes and then a sweet, clear and firm NO when the sales person returns. Yes there is disappointment - I hate to say no to a sales person - but your money will be in tact. Enjoy!!

Suffer from Moneychondria - The Fear of Having Money?

Women in business, do you suffer from Moneychondria, the fear of having money?

I know it sounds funny, but maybe you’re more afraid of money than you realize...

Are any of these Financially Stressful things true for you?

* You spend more than you make.

* You “debt,” or consistently run up credit card debt.

*  You under-earn or…

*  You overspend or shop when stressed or anxious

*  You give your money away to children and other “needy” folks and don’t keep enough for yourself – for a safety cushion or retirement.

It’s safe to say many of us have conflicts about money.

Why? We want the American Dream and yet reaching it can prove to be illusive.  After all – how much money is enough? And, how much is too much? 

Get curious instead of furious with your money challenges. Take action to identify money challenges and DO something proactive by creating a PLAN and Specific Steps to move forward.

I help women make more money – by breaking through money barriers to create Prosperity & have FUN in the process. Next FREE Financial Freedom Introductory Webinar for Women in Business Aug 20th /womens-inner-money-game-free/

Next FREE 3 Steps to Financial Freedom Webinar Aug 20 /womens-inner-money-game-free/

Women - Get Your Money House In Order

Money is power and women are taught to be nice, not powerful. Really. Think about that. From the time we're little girls we're taught to think about others and to override our own feelings for the sake of someone else's. Boys are taught to win and compete and they feel very comfortable with that. Personally, I believe we women can be powerful AND nice.

In order to get your Money House in Order first identify one or two mistakes you've been making with money. Here are a few to pick from. Try to be objective and don't blame yourself. The powerful stance is to take responsibility, learn from our mistakes and make new decisions to take new action this coming year.

Mistakes Women Make with Money:

1) Spend Unconsciously: Piddle money away on things like Starbucks, another pair of shoes, fast food.

Money House in Order Power Tip:  Get a small notebook or on a SmartPhone use the Note function and track every single expenditure over the next 30 days. Eye-opening. 

2) Take Care of Others Before Take Care of Self Financially: How many times have you (to be nice) given money to your adult children, boyfriends, partners, parents, people in need rather than save more of it for your future?  

Money House in Order Power Tip: Consider that most women don't have enough money to live comfortably in retirement, especially single women. Give, but give consciously and sometimes giving to adult children is financial enabling and hurts rather than truly helps.  

3) Overspend or Overshop to Cope with Anxiety, Stress or Just Because:  Women waste so much money on things they don't need. "A need is replacing something that's worn out. A want is everything else." ( Peggy Gardiner, Professional Organizer)  It's fun to shop. I get it. But, stay conscious of the immediate pleasure vs. how your money needs to work for you over the long term.

Money House in Order Power Tip: If you tend to shop when feeling anxious or stressed take a PAUSE to think rather than shop out of habit. During this pause take 10 breaths.  Ask yourself - what do I really need? Time, relaxation, listening to, fun, pleasure?  What are other ways I can satisfiy this? How much can I really afford to spend? What's the most powerful thing I can do with this money?  

Here's to you getting your money house in order and as a result feeling and being more powerful with your financial choices.  Remember, you can be nice and powerful.  

Big Girl ACTION: 

1)  For fun, take the Money Type Quiz to find out whether you’re a Warrior Money Type – focused and disciplined or possibly a Fool – happy-go-lucky, not necessarily good at paying the bills.  Lynn offers a FREE 15 minute results phone consult.