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« Try Amino Acids for Anxiety or Depression | Main | Trauma Fuels Addiction »

Fat or Skinny: No One Appreciates Weight Comments

4988-Agitated-Woman-Pointing-Her-Finger-At-Someone-ClipartI was at the health food store recently and bumped into an acquaintance who said, “You’re so thin, are you ok?” I gritted my teeth to hold back a flash of anger, then said as nicely as I could, “I don’t really like my weight being commented on.”  She looked a little shocked. A friend of mind behind the counter piped in and said, “People used to tell me I was too thin and I hated it.” Ah…support. I asked the woman who’d made the comment if she would have said anything about my weight if I’d looked like I’d gained. She said probably not.

What’s my complaint?  As a naturally slender woman I feel both guilty about being so and judged for being “too” thin. Isn’t it interesting that in our culture no woman’s body type is really ok. If a woman has a perfectly shaped body and gets lots of male attention, other women are often jealous and reject her. I’ve heard more than one woman struggling with her weight say, “I got to my perfect weight, but wasn’t comfortable with all the attention I got so I regained.”shapely+woman

We women focus so much time, energy and $$ on trying to deal with, manage and perfect our bodies. Think about thisHow wonderful could our lives be and how much could we make the world a better place if women took 25% of that “waisted” energy and power and re-focused it on more important priorities? As Geneen Roth says, for most women being in the weight struggle becomes comfortable. To let go of the struggle can feel very UNcomfortable, but eventually we can get used to peace and happiness by practicing acceptance that rather than stress and struggle. And, please, if you have an opinion about somebody’s weight – keep it to yourself.


Reader Comments (1)

Hi, Lynn. I'd like to read a future post from you about jealousy among women. Often this manifests as a tendency to undermine each other with putdowns, subtle or otherwise. Apart from recognizing that this behavior stems from deep-seated insecurities, are there healthy ways for us to deflect/deal with such attacks? I posted an example of invalidating behavior (in this case, regarding owning one's sensuality) on Aug. 18. 2010 at would be honored if you would comment. Thank you!

August 25, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarie Sardalla-Davis

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